The Great British Public

Only ten shopping days left to Christmas and the average IQ of my customers is dropping to an all-time low. A few weeks ago I passed the threshold of people who don't know that fiction is arranged A-Z by author and I am now being assailed by people who have no idea about anything.

Choice enquiries include:

'If I ask you a question, will you know the answer?'

'Which of these books has a happy ending?'

'Do you sell matches?'

'I want a book with a moral dilemma in it'

'Where's your Tundra section?'

This is on top of all the people who don't know the difference between biography and autobiography, think that paperbacks come out at the same time as hardbacks and expect us to have the same range of stock as Foyles.

Am I in the wrong job? I'm beginning to think so.