I watched an episode of Star Trek yesterday, for the first time in years. The episode was called 'The Immunity Syndrome'. I have fond memories of the programme from the 1970s, when I would have a bath in the evening before changing into my Star Trek pyjamas, exclusive to buyers of Kellogg's Sugar Smacks.
I will be raising the following points with the Starship Enterprise's HR manager:
1. A Poor Ergonomic Working Environment:
I also noticed several tripping hazards. A health and safety review is urgently needed.
2. Disabled Access:
I would recommend introducing ramps and conduct a Disability Compliance Check throughout the whole ship.
3. Sexual Harrassment
I would also suggest that standard, genderless uniforms should replace the current division between trousers for men and short dresses for women.
4. Sexism in the Workplace:
I would recommend attendance at a Workplace Sexism Awareness course for all male officers and ensure that a helpline number is displayed on every staff noticeboard.
5. Substance Abuse:
I would recommend revoking the doctor's licence to practise and sending Captain Kirk to a substance abuse clinic.
6. Poor Discipline.
During routine requests for more power from the engines, his response is always negative and possessive. There is also a tendency to anthropomorphise the engines, referring to them as 'she'. I would recommend a written warning, accompanied by a requirement for compulsory counselling.
7. Inadequate Equipment:
I would suggest the introduction of daily compliance checks, to ensure that the Shuttle Craft is always fully charged and in possession of more than half an hour's life support.
I hope that my suggestions will be acted on. I don't want to have to take this up with the United Federation of Planets.