The wife of one of my staff has just received this letter from her son's school (motto: Working together to recognise the value and potential of each student):
Dear Mrs Broad,
Your son returned from an obviously enjoyable trip in a slightly over exhuberant mood and unfortunately chose to expose his buttocks in front of one of the school buses.
I have to point out that such actions constitute a public order offence and will be arranging for the School Liaison Officer to have a word with your son in school so he understands the gravity and consequences of such action.
I trust that I can rely on your support in this matter.