Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Lost in Translation

Today I did a 400-mile round trip for a 15-minute meeting. I think it went well, but I'll know more in a couple of months' time.

When I got back, I decided to work out the relative cost of hiring vans and drivers to transport my books, versus buying a van of my own. A quick search on eBay yielded this result:

But although the price was attractive, the description left me none the wiser:

"Hi, this is a me Van seling me freinds behalf :
this it's a very nice and clear van inside + outside, don't be more used, last year drived only 500 mileage !

Mot is valid for half off april 2015, this week be changed new front head lamps for passinger side. Car is no rast !

Engine and gearbox working smoothly, may be the gear shift need grease, start anny time every time.

Velcome personaly visit this van, bad don't be test drive if be engine cool. Too many ''mechanic'' it's less expirience for me self, don't put full gas to cool engine !!!

This is a IVECO which factory in Italy prodact is engine very top quality for a Vans and HGV truck, Long life engine and this is 89k mileage this is nothing !!! Engine live for good owner is ower 500 k mileage with standart trip service Iveco garage, used good quality oil and parts.

Every people need fixing in GP doctors, car haved fixed from authority garage whitch understand everything.

Ok, yesterday i'm drived 50 mileage, big engine power i'm driving excelent 2450 rpm only 60 mil per hour with 5 gear. Me results is excelent big horse power van from towing heavy trailers.

New owner be very happy keeped this SWB van.

V5 and Mot certificate ready to go, half tank Diesel.

Finaly, excelent inside and outside, price for sell £1590

I wonder if Google Translate was employed, or whether it's just someone's unique brand of English? Either way, I know that anything I did in another language would be a lot worse.

Finally, on the subject of vans, here's a fine example of sensitive tabloid journalism, which I spotted in an abandoned copy of 'The Sun':

I wonder if he needs a job?


George said...

Google Translate would not come up with "whitch" With a little attention, one can figure it all out, though I had to look at least twice to understand that one should not gun the engine when it's cold.

The trucker can probably afford a vacation right now.

Chris Matarazzo said...

I have a sneaking suspicion that the sex-swap trucker wrote that that ad. Call it a hunch.

Nota Bene said...

Looks a bargain. I mean the boiler breakdown...

Steerforth said...

George - You're right. Google Translate would make a lot more sense.

Steerforth said...

Chris - So he was transnational too?

Steerforth said...

Nota Bene - It's extraordinary isn't it. £7! There has to be a catch.

Anonymous said...

A small point, perhaps, but you have misgendered the transgender trucker, who is a she.

Steerforth said...

Anonymous - You're quite right to correct me, and it's not a small point for the person concerned. I suppose my thoughtlessness is typical of what transgender people have to encounter on a daily basis. Your comment will make at least one person think first.

zmkc said...

I think it was a speaker of Europanto:

Steerforth said...

Good lord - I think you're right!