Writers' Names

I'm as liberal as the next person (depending on who the next person is), but I do like creative artists to put on a bit of a show. The current trend for authors to have dull, unassuming names is disappointing. They should take a lesson from their predessors.

During the last week, I've discovered the following early 20th century authors:

Pelham Groom
Basil Woon
Hogan Bogue
Phyllis Bottome
Marmaduke Pickthall
Sidney Whipple
Arthur Gossip
Gaylord Hauser
Primrose Cumming
Frank Few
Oliphant Smeaton
Cyril Falls
Alexander Smellie
Lilian Vowles

I'm sure you'll agree, they're a lot more exciting than William Boyd, Anne Tyler, Iain Banks (a slight frisson from the extra 'i', I'll admit), Sarah Hall, Richard Ford or Julian Barnes.

Perhaps these names were the norm a hundred years ago and future generations will be doubled-up with laughter when they see Martin Amis (actually, I think that's already happening in some quarters).

I have tried to put faces to the names, but most of my Google searches have drawn a blank. However, I do have this interesting photo of Gaylord Hauser:

Apparently, Hauser was a close friend of Greta Garbo.

If you're keen to know what a man called Sidney Whipple looks like, he's the taller one on the right:

They appear to be pouring over the instruction manual for an extremely complicated typewriter.

Names are so important. I've been seriously thinking of changing my first name to Lord or Earl, as I'm sure that this would improve my prospects. Prince would probably be taking it too far.