But there was one problem: Anderson's idea was utterly mad.
The new series was given a unanimous thumbs down by television executives, but undeterred, Anderson turned his idea into a franchise, spawning 154 issues of a comic and several books. The whole sorry episode lasted less than three years but it was long enough to screw-up a generation of under 5s.
Welcome to the world of "Candy and Andy":
Candy and Andy are just like any other children, except that they are plastic and live with two panda bears called Mr and Mrs Bearanda. They drive around in a Mini called Stripey.
The Candy and Andy books fail to explain the children's relationship with the Bearandas. It is clearly not a genetic bond, so were Candy and her brother adopted? Is Andy even Candy's brother? We are never told.
With their panda parents, Candy and Andy live in a world of humans (and a talking hedgehog). It should be enchanting, but the reality is deeply disturbing.
A slightly coquettish pose from Candy.
In Candy and Andy's world, you do talk to strangers. Oddly enough, these strangers are never alarmed by the presence of two sinister dolls.
A moment of reflection.
This photo is the stuff of nightmares, with Candy and Andy sitting on the lap of an evil-looking Father Christmas. This was the era before CRB checks, when perverts and sex offenders were able to find work as store Santas. This one looks as if he's just been released from Parkhurst.I inherited a Candy and Andy book when I was three and forgot all about it until this year, when I started suffering from flashbacks. Perhaps it was my new job. If Proust was inspired to write a mammoth novel from the whiff of a few cakes, what hope did I have with thousands of books at my disposal?
There is another disturbing aspect to this story. I am a hardcore rationalist, but one day I saw a box of books and the words "Candy and Andy" came into my head. I started to unpack the contents and there, lying at the bottom, was the first Candy and Andy book I had seen since I was three. I now know the meaning of the phrase "sent a shiver down my spine".
Candy and Andy has been conveniently airbrushed out of Gerry Anderson's career history. There is no mention of them on Wikipedia and apart from one dedicated 1960s website, I can only find a few cursory references.
There are probably thousands of people in Britain who shudder at the sight of dolls without knowing why and find themselves suffering from recurring nightmares about talking pandas and psychedelic Minis. Like most traumas from early childhood, these memories are deeply repressed.
Perhaps it is time to form a support group for victims of Candy and Andy. We may have had our childhoods stolen by the weird, perverted fantasies of Gerry Anderson, but at least we can work together to end the nightmares.
NB - If you're wondering what happened to Candy and Andy, I'm told that Candy made a few soft porn films in the 1970s, before marrying a millionaire property speculator. She now manages a chain of high class hotels. Andy never managed to cope with the transition from child star to adult and his last acting role was in 1987, at a pantomime in Swindon. He was arrested last year for stealing a Breville Sandwich Maker from a branch of John Lewis. He still lives with Mrs Bearanda.
Thank heavens I missed this. I was already deeply traumatised by the puppets in Rubovia, presented by the BBC's Puppet Theatre. I have only very recently been able to establish that they were not just the stuff of a childhood nightmare. Pongo Pongo Pongo! was all I could remember and some grim bewigged courtiers.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. Thunderbirds played out here when I was young. Marionettes are creepy regardless of context.
ReplyDeleteThose eyes. Those damned eyes.
Saw that mini a few weeks ago:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/orqwith/4085212943/
I knew I remembered it, but couldn't think from where.
Brilliant! I had no idea that there were Candy and Andy toys. I suppose it isn't that surprising, as every Anderson franchise spawned a Corgi toy.
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for the link.
As I read through this I though you were just joshing, a belated April Fools blog, and then I did a bit of research myself and, horror of horrors, you're right. How did I miss that? Or maybe I should be saying: Thank God I missed that. This is truly awful. These must be what happen when autons (Dr Who) and cybernauts (The Avengers) have babies.
ReplyDeleteI'm a great Gerry Anderson fan. I have models of several of the vehicles from his shows including a monochrome Supercar. Fireball XL5 was always a favourite. Did you ever catch any of the revamped Captain Scarlets? They were actually okay.
I haven't seen the new Captain Scarlet, but I'd like to.
ReplyDeleteI love the story behind Francis Matthews getting the job as the voice of Captain Scarlet ("Just do your Cary Grant impression, Frankie").
Without wishing to sound like a misery memoir, my parents were so skint (the genteel poverty of the lower echelons of the Civil Service), they couldn't afford to buy new toys - I lived on hand-me-downs, like Candy and Andy.
However, I did save 5p a week for half a year to buy a Captain Scarlet SPV.
This is high weirdness indeed. I've never, ever, heard of Candy and Andy. It reveals an aspect of the English character that is hard to get my head around, like the bad trip holiday camp of "The Prisoner", or the cult I discovered of people who build full scale replicas of Daleks. Fascinating and repellent.
ReplyDeleteThere is a word for this: creeptastic. Luckily I've never seen such a thing, certainly not one intended for children.
ReplyDeleteCreeptastic is an excellent word. I'll be using it from now on!
ReplyDeleteBrett, you're quite right. Funnily enough, I've been to the Prisoner village and it is a very weird place. There is a man who actually lives in "the village", wears the clothes, drives the jeep and occasionally inflates the rover balloons. When I was at university, we got in touch with him and were invited up there for a day. It was a deeply weird experience.
Holy cow. Anderson fan too. I'd vaguely heard of Candy & Andy and seeing this is, like you say, creeptastic. Bury it! Ha!
ReplyDeleteOooooh, good. I'm always looking for something new for pizza night with the kids. Netflix, here I come!
ReplyDeleteObviously the books wouldn't be on Netflix--But there has to be a pilot somewhere.
ReplyDeleteWill have to watch some Captain Scarlet instead. *sigh*
Yes, there should be a pilot episode.
ReplyDeleteI'd pay good money to see that!
OK. You want freaky Gerry Anderson? The pilot for "The Investigator." I hope you can see it in the UK!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBp_GBHxtSM
I'm speechless. Apart from being a completely insane concept, it's also one of the worst things I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI am now 48 & the disturbing thing is I never forgot Candy & Andy. I even remember when they joined foces in the Jack & Jill comic which was really their demise! In 1971 I remember thinking 'this would make a charming tv series'. Perhaps what kept me enthralled was exactly that it remained a purely visual series of stills in a weekly comic & I was in the land of "what might have been?" Nonetheless even today I have fond memories. Something very English about the thing with a little psychidellia & futurism! I must admit though Andy's facial expression always gave me heebi jeebies. I never knew if he was happy, sad or Chucky's brother. Wish FANDERSON would do an article!
ReplyDeleteAm also 48 and I've never quite forgotten Candy & Andy and the Bearandas either. Part of me was beginning to wonder if I'd imagined the whole thing!!!
ReplyDeleteCara
I am too young to remember them...however i have been traumatised by finding a candy and andy book amounst some donations....the scary part is that on one page...andy is actually a REAL boy....freaky
ReplyDeleteI am 48 as well and still have my battered matchbox rainbow striped mini with it's number plate of 'Candy 1' which I played with lots as a small child, and until about 20 years ago also had a small plastic mum panda. I couldn't quite remember what the show was all about, but I do now!
ReplyDeleteThis came under attack, from local authority, Yes the idea 2 children, with 2 Pandas for perents..Caused alot of panic..
ReplyDeleteThe Comic was even withdrawn from many newsagents..
This came under attack from the local authority. Yes the sight of 2 children, with 2 Pandas for perents, Athough they had a Mini called Stripey, Who had a mind of its own... Yet the whole thing was distubing indeed..Somehow Gerry Anderson must had relised this mistake..
ReplyDeleteThe Comic was even withdrawn from many Newsagents, By looking at it, You would think, "THEY LOOK AS THOUGH THEY HAVE ADUCTED OR SOMETHING"
This came under attack, from local authority, Yes the idea 2 children, with 2 Pandas for perents..Caused alot of panic..
ReplyDeleteThe Comic was even withdrawn from many newsagents..
Kavin - I think it's a great pity that social workers are so uptight about other species adopting children these days. There must be hundreds of kids in care homes who would give anything to live with two kindly pandas.
ReplyDeleteWe've passed laws about discrimating on the basis of race and sex, but pandas are still treated like second class citizens. It's a disagrace.
Sort of "Bride of Chucky meets Issi Noho"
ReplyDeleteBrilliant to see this. I used to get old annuals passed on from some older kids down the road as an early '70s pre-school kid.. I've spent 40-odd years with vague memories of some kids living with pandas in a comic, and it being somewhat scary.. The odd time I've mentioned it over the years nobody has ever heard of anything like.. I'd sometimes wondered was it just some weird dream I'd had! Just thought of it again and done a bit of interweb and arrived here. Cheers for solidifying the memory!
ReplyDeleteOMG...l remember my Candy and Andy Annual... I actually loved it and often think about it.I can't remember any animals in it but l was very young..l often wish I'd still got my book.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI'm still haunted by Candy and Andy. I remember loving the book until I realised that they were not real - more like an composition of prosthetic caramel limbs. It was if I had seen the face of Lucifer himself and had to bury the book at the bottom of my toolbox so that it would never resurface. As an adult, I can see now that it was a product of the dark side of 1960's/1970's psychedelic culture; essentially the 'bad trip', which other media followed, ranging from Dr Who, Space 1999, Sapphire and Steel, Chocky, The Tomorrow People and Children of the stones - all of which I loved, but presented a very specific type of psychological horror. The effect of Candy and Andy was not unlike Freud's analysis of 'Das Unheimliche' or 'The Uncanny' as it's known, whereby the viewer is uncertain whether a particular figure in the story is a human being or an automaton. Suffice to say, the book still resides at the bottom of my toy box and long may it remain there.
I, too, had a Candy & Andy annual at the age of around six and should have found the domestic scene somewhat difficult to understand (to put it mildly). Instead, I think I must have simply accepted this unusual household! The Christmas image of the Bearandas' sitting room festooned with paper garlands instantly came back to my mind, as did the nightmarish Santa, 'though I think, in retrospect, Candy & Andy(with their sinister smiles) were themselves more disturbing than old Father Christmas!!
ReplyDeleteMany thanks from a reminiscing 53-year old.
Oh wow... I had no idea, and managed to miss having any conscious memory of C and A, despite hand-me-downs and jumble sales.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, this would be called the "uncanny valley" effect: that's the point between things looking not lifelike at all and looking far TOO lifelike.
I LOVED Candy and Andy...I think my book had red slippers on the front.
ReplyDeleteI have been haunted by memories of a Candy and Andy Annual. At night I used to shove it under the bed as it was too scary to look at. I was convinced that plastic arms would shoot out of the bottom of the bed and drag me underneath it to some plastic hellsville run by those 2 plastic creeps. I would always jump onto the bed in case! Childhood memories I'd rather forget. I forgot about the pandas but the weird faces of those two will live on in my brain.
ReplyDeleteSimilar experience ....altho may be a weird symptom of the menopause...remembering the uncanny weirdness from the past! I was convinced this was a Canadian thing, because I lived there til I was 5 years old, but must have been a present from my English grandparents.
ReplyDeleteI must have pored over the 1968 annual for hours, trying to understand what the hell was going on, before I could read. The annual disappeared when we moved back to Britain..probably the excuse my parents needed to get rid of it!
Those dolls haunted me, I found them mysterious and fascinating as a young child.