From the Sublime to the Ridiculous...

Until this weekend, my knowledge of fungi was extremely limited. As far as I was concerned, there were five kinds:

1. The white mushrooms that you can buy in Tesco's and other supermarkets
   
2. The posh, unusual mushrooms that Waitrose sell
3. The unpleasant moulds that appear in damp houses
4. Athlete's Foot
   
5. 'Recreational' mushrooms
   

However, I now know that the world of fungi is infinitely more varied than I dared to imagine, as I have spent most of this weekend in a wonderful place called Wilderness Woods (I would recommend it to anyone living within a 50-mile radius of Hadlow Down, East Sussex).

I visited Wilderness Woods in a mood of desperation, hoping that it would give my sons an opportunity to exhaust their seemingly endless reserves of energy. As far as I'm concerned, children are like dogs and need to be exercised at least once a day. The analogy ends there - dogs are much easier than children and show far more gratitude when you take them out (but just as you really start to care about them they die of old age - it's not a good arrangement).

Wilderness Woods was a success. My sons were able to run around, build dens and let their imaginations run riot without any constraints. In the meantime, I became obsessed with the incredible variety of fungi that were present. I have seen toadstools before, but this was something different. Perhaps the appalling English summer - the worst on record - had been responsible for this amazing proliferation of mushrooms and fungi:




Can you see a face in the mushroom above, or do I need to see my GP?



There is something both beautiful and repugnant about mushrooms and fungi. I think the golden rule is that they're great in a woodland setting, but not so good on the genitals or feet.



In the picture above, I can almost see the head of a mackerel. Can you see it, or have I been under the influence of the more magical members of the mushroom family?


And now for the ridiculous. On the way home, we drove over the River Uck. The bridge we went across has, for many years, sported a sign that has been subject to petty vandalism, with local humorists adding an 'F' to the Uck. Eventually, the Highways Agency commissioned a customised sign that would leave no room for any vulgar consonants and for several years it seemed to work. However, where there's a will there's a way...


Yes it's puerile, but it still makes me laugh and I find it touching that someone has gone to so much effort on this busy road. I'm still waiting for someone to convert Sussex Drive to Sex Drive.