The wife of one of my staff has just received this letter from her son's school (motto: Working together to recognise the value and potential of each student):
Dear Mrs Broad,
Your son returned from an obviously enjoyable trip in a slightly over exhuberant mood and unfortunately chose to expose his buttocks in front of one of the school buses.
I have to point out that such actions constitute a public order offence and will be arranging for the School Liaison Officer to have a word with your son in school so he understands the gravity and consequences of such action.
I trust that I can rely on your support in this matter.
Yours sincerely,
CENSORED
Lucky it's only a letter, expelling offence down here, we get very nervous about full moons.
ReplyDeleteGreat juxtaposition of posts!
ReplyDeleteI have £10k today for the pot...only another £590,000 to go! Found a US magazine called Yes! about setting up a small community, although I couldn't stand any of that hugging and clapping nonsense!!
; )
Well, that's what I call a nice love letter!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! Flog those buttocks! This is clearly the worst possible crime and should be punished accordingly.
ReplyDeleteYou do know 'school liason officer' is another name for on-site cop, don't you? The problem with them is that very small 'offences' can lead to children being criminalised. Bah! Humbug!
Misty - that's the problem. Would you want to live in a small community with the sort of people who want to live in small communities?
ReplyDeleteOh dear. It's hard to imagine the consequences, isn't it? Well, a few hours in the school liaison officer's office is a bad enough one I should think. And that sounds rather on a par with the parents' evening I spent on the night before the full moon!
ReplyDelete