Dan Brown Let Me Down

There are many reasons why I glad that I'm no longer working for Waterstone's, but if I started listing them I'd probably sound like a bitter old tart.

So let's just pick one reason: I can completely ignore the new Dan Brown book, which is being released in two weeks' time:


I see that at least one branch of Waterstone's is opening at midnight. In a local newspaper interview, the branch manager commented:

"The latest Dan Brown novel will undoubtedly be the biggest selling book of 2009."

"We already have hundreds of pre-orders for it, and have been taking pre-orders since the day the new book was announced many months ago."

"Thanks to the phenomenal success of his other books and subsequent smash-hit films, most notably The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, there has been an enormous amount of hype surrounding the new release. We’re really excited to be a part of it all."

'We're really excited to be a part of it all'?

I hope that the motive for this robotic, lobotomised answer is either fear or ambition. If he really is excited, then all hope is lost.

This isn't just blind prejudice. Five years ago I bought The Da Vinci Code in an airport bookshop, as somebody had recommended it to me. As the plane hit 30,000 feet, I realised that I had been sold a dud. Sir Leigh f***ing Teabing? Do me a favour.

Compared to Dan Brown, the in-flight magazine seemed like McSweeney's and by the time we'd landed, I knew about every golf course and business hotel in Andalucia.

I'm not a good flyer. I need to be distracted from the terrifying knowledge that I have miles of nothing underneath me. Dan Brown let me down and I'm afraid that I do bear a grudge. Next time I will stick to champagne.

The Sounds of Silence

Further Bookmarks

If you're not a regular visitor to this blog, you should know that I sell secondhand books on the internet (on behalf of cheridee) and spend my working day sifting through hundreds of titles. Most of the books are worthless, but there are enough titles of value to make the whole thing worthwhile.

If I decide to sell a book, I have to check it thoroughly to assess its condition and occasionally, as I flick through the pages, something falls out. These ad hoc bookmarks are usually just scraps of paper, but sometimes I find photos or letters that give tantalising glimpes into the lives of strangers.

Here are some recent favourites:


My name is sarah i live at twenty one enest road kot i live with my pearonts and my to ugly brothers...

This probably took a long time to type - I can visualise a little girl trying to fathom out the mysteries of the QWERTY keyboard. Today she'd just use spellcheck.

This photo manages to be poignant, touching and a little depressing too, bringing Hardy's quote about life being 'tragic with comic overtones' to mind. On the face of it, an overweight woman in late middle age is standing in front of a hideous pair of curtains in what must be the room of a bed and breakfast, or a cheap hotel. Is she coming or going? Why did anyone take a photograph of such a mundane scene?

The temperature control panel of the Dimplex convector heater has been left open, suggesting grey skies, wet pavements and dark evenings spent in an empty dining room.

But this photo could mark the beginning or end of what felt like a great adventure. If we look beyond the clashing patterns and cheap furniture, this photo might have been taken because someone wanted to bottle the happiness of the moment.

This fell out of a 1929 American book called Plotto, which claims to enable would-be writers to produce a virually unique plot. The book reads like a slightly more sophisticated version of Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone's Fighting Fantasy books from the 1980s, where the reader can choose their destiny from a set number of options.

On this piece of paper, someone has written: 'A, a fugitive from justice, prevents B from committing suicide. B is a classy prostitute.'

Oh, that old chestnut.

I wonder if it ever became a finished novel?

This extract from a 1969 letter needs no explanation or comment. You'd have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by the grandfather's expression of love.

Finally, a notice from Christina Foyle, apologising for sending the wrong title to a book club member. She refers to some 'difficulties', which is a slight understatement, given that the year was 1943.

Podcasting

A few months ago I wrote a post in praise of BBC Radio Four's podcasts, but I'm afraid that I have now discovered something even better: the ABC Book Show.

BBC radio broadcasts some great podcasts, but they represent a small part of the total output and programmes are only available for a measly seven days. I'm sure they have their reasons, but the BBC probably has the greatest audio archive in the world and they should make it more accessible.

In contrast, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation has made every episode of their wonderful book review programme available for downloading. Presented by Ramona Koval, the Book Show is as good as anything I've heard, with intelligent interviewers, fascinating guests and a very cosmopolitan selection of writers.

Ramona Koval is an exceptionally good presenter and when she interviewed M J Hyland recently about This is How, it was clear that she had really read the book and had a number of thoughtful, pertinent questions to ask.

From now on, my drive to work will be accompanied by the archives of The Book Show.