tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post6635185405703962434..comments2024-03-13T07:34:24.149+00:00Comments on The Age of Uncertainty: The Passion of DerekSteerforthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-44900334684258610702010-08-15T02:30:15.969+00:002010-08-15T02:30:15.969+00:00Chimps on Ice. Hee hee. Is that on YouTube?Chimps on Ice. Hee hee. Is that on YouTube?Michael LaRoccahttp://www.michaeledits.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-55379584763620759922010-08-10T12:15:27.787+00:002010-08-10T12:15:27.787+00:00That's a difficult question re: the abuse of p...That's a difficult question re: the abuse of privacy. <br /><br />I agree with your gut feeling. It's often seemed to me that Derek is desperate to be read, really. Better sympathetic strangers than no one, even if his family aren't interested. Surely he wouldn't have kept the diaries so long otherwise? If he wanted to be private, he would have destroyed them... wouldn't he?<br /><br />I like to think that Derek would be pleased with the way we're reacting to them here too. Okay, we might laugh at him sometimes, but the overwhelming sense I have is of sympathy. I know I've found many of his entries very moving indeed.Sam Jordisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847113158131387947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-81030612950404136872010-08-10T09:50:53.996+00:002010-08-10T09:50:53.996+00:00Thanks for the link Sam. There might be enough mat...Thanks for the link Sam. There might be enough material for a book, albeit a short one. There are many entries that I enjoy reading, but feel are too rambling to use in the blog.<br /><br />I have mixed feelings about publishing extracts from Derek's diaries. Am I abusing his privacy?<br /><br />On the other hand, the diaries are his life's work and Derek frequently mentions how much he wants his family to read them when he's gone. From everything I've read of Derek's, my gut feeling is that he would rather see his dairies read by sympathetic strangers than no-one at all.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-14783002722056499732010-08-09T17:17:01.373+00:002010-08-09T17:17:01.373+00:00Maybe Derek was like Walter Mitty and had a great ...Maybe Derek was like Walter Mitty and had a great fantasy life??<br />Canadian ChickadeeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-70745644382792317022010-08-09T09:51:32.916+00:002010-08-09T09:51:32.916+00:00How much material is there in that 5%, by the way?...How much material is there in that 5%, by the way? Might it be big enough to produce a book. I know I'd want to invest in 'The Passion of Derek'.Sam Jordisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847113158131387947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-82209610992785182812010-08-09T09:42:58.305+00:002010-08-09T09:42:58.305+00:00"The last diaries - from the early 90s - were..."The last diaries - from the early 90s - were thrown away by someone from the warehouse. I don't know how the story ends."<br /><br />NO! NO! NO! Oh no. Derek's tragedy has so many layers...Sam Jordisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11847113158131387947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-45192976096546585342010-08-07T20:42:50.680+00:002010-08-07T20:42:50.680+00:00Oooh, poor Derek! If his live-in mother-in-law wa...Oooh, poor Derek! If his live-in mother-in-law was anything like mine, then it's no wonder he and Brenda didn't have a very satisfying relationship. I don't know what Derek did to cope; I simply outlived mine.<br />Canadian ChickadeeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-9175751044997456902010-08-07T15:07:02.797+00:002010-08-07T15:07:02.797+00:00The funny thing about Derek's diaries is how h...The funny thing about Derek's diaries is how he manages to write so much whilst telling us so little about himself. There are thousands of pages in at least half a dozen huge, foolscap files, but it took me weeks to find out how many children he had.<br /><br />95% of the diaries are generally mundane entries about Derek's local church, the successful or failure of his vegatables and long descriptions of minor illnesses. But it is that remaining 5% that make them so special.<br /><br />As far as Derek and Brenda's relationship goes, I failed to mention one very key element: Brenda's mother lived with them and, according to Derek, was a generally spiteful, highly critical person who exerted an enervating influence on all around her.<br /><br />I also think that Brenda suffered from depression - references to her moods and mysterious illnesses go right back to the 1950s. She is at least as complicated as Derek.<br /><br />As Laura says, Derek gives himself away when he is reluctant to be left alone with a woman. It reminds me of a diary entry I published back in February:<br /><br />"<i>I set my lip on fire the other morning. And on Sunday night I had a dream. I became acquainted with an attractive woman with curly hair, but undefined facial features. I was much tempted by her and took her back to a basement with rusty radiators...</i>"<br /><br />Or this:<br /><br />"<i>I was much troubled by evil dreams last night. I tossed and turned upon my bed in a way I have not done for many years. I dreamt that I was at the office and kept calling the female staff by titles and names that were blatantly sexist and in transgression of the County Council's instructions in this matter.</i>"<br /><br />An affair would probably have induced a nervous breakdown! <br /><br />I don't know if Derek and Brenda ever resolved the lack of a passion. The last diaries - from the early 90s - were thrown away by someone from the warehouse. I don't know how the story ends.<br /><br />Derek's constant succession of illnesses suggest that his passions were turned in on themselves, but I'll refrain from any further sub-Freudian analysis.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-79072236214181344212010-08-07T14:38:36.793+00:002010-08-07T14:38:36.793+00:00Your post certainly has provoked thought. Last ni...Your post certainly has provoked thought. Last night, as I lay not sleeping, I kept thinking about Derek and Brenda. My earlier post was more or less from Derek's POV, so this time I'd like to say a few wors in Brenda's defense.<br /><br />Like it or not, we are all a product of our times. The photo of Derek looks as if it were taken in the early 1950's, a pre-birth control age. Since Derek and Brenda had children, perhaps it was further pregnancies Brenda feared, not Derek's passion. <br /><br /> In the still-shaky post war years, perhaps they couldn't afford to have more children, and she saw total abstinence as their only option. <br /><br />Don't say, "There was always the Rhythm Method." The result of my one experience with the Rhythm Method has been voting for a number of years now. And perhaps Brenda had tried that, with an equal lack of success, which was how she got her earlier children.<br /><br />So Brenda was left with the ooption of living with a man she liked and probably loved, without sex. By today's standards a seemingly intolerable situation, but perhaps more common than we'd like to think in those years.<br /><br />Canadian ChickadeeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-10037769111289270272010-08-07T07:45:27.275+00:002010-08-07T07:45:27.275+00:00have to say poor Derek too! Not that I think an af...have to say poor Derek too! Not that I think an affair is ever the answer, and I suspect if he had ever tried that he would have been so ruined by guilt and grief that he would never have got over it.<br /><br />How big are the Derek diaries? How many pages?JRSMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04430775461763521797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-39718306823348683722010-08-07T07:42:10.382+00:002010-08-07T07:42:10.382+00:00This is a rich seam you're mining. Do keep it ...This is a rich seam you're mining. Do keep it going.PALhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16213913134351463538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-32137010907703898042010-08-07T01:27:25.441+00:002010-08-07T01:27:25.441+00:00Talk about a life of quiet despair and desperation...Talk about a life of quiet despair and desperation! No wonder Derek's children threw out the diaries! <br /><br />Derek seems a nice man who deserved so much better. Perhaps he should have gone on the road trip and had a mad fling! Then perhaps Brenda might've (only might have, mind) appreciated what she would be missing if Derek were to leave and find happiness with someone else! <br /><br />I do't usually counsel divorce as an answer, but in this case, it might have been better than the slow death Derek seems to be experiencing here.<br /><br />Canadian ChickadeeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-70533111437852572392010-08-06T16:58:09.199+00:002010-08-06T16:58:09.199+00:00Poor Derek. I wonder why Brenda went off him and w...Poor Derek. I wonder why Brenda went off him and why she seemed to think he should accept the situation. Even if it was down to health problems, she surely could have done something about them if she loved him.<br /><br />I'm sure many a good woman would have given her eye teeth to be married to such such a decent and endearing man and appreciated him to the full if Brenda didn't.<br /><br />His morality is commendable. On the other hand would it really have been so evil to find a woman in the same situation to exchange some mutual affectionate comfort with? Even as an act of Christian charity to a similarly lonely human being if he had to justify it?<br /><br />I've read more than once that some relationships are even helped by 'outsourcing' what can't be had within the relationship, though I'm sure it's not an ideal situation. Then again, nor is the celibate marriage where one partner still retains a sex drive.<br /><br />I find it amusing that Derek is obviously so terrified of being alone with a female who isn't his wife though. Is it THEM he is scared of or HIMSELF and what he might do? He comes across like a man expecting to be raped by marauding females at any moment! Or pounced apon by Dick Emery's 'Hettie' perhaps!The Poet Laura-eatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07779308486569849157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-76846039836981217642010-08-06T16:54:08.778+00:002010-08-06T16:54:08.778+00:00Poor Derek, and he was such a handsome chap too if...Poor Derek, and he was such a handsome chap too if the picture at the top is anything to go by.Mrs Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06289121990808465890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-88489027837604425712010-08-06T16:18:27.776+00:002010-08-06T16:18:27.776+00:00I can understand, up to a point - why these journa...I can understand, up to a point - why these journals were discarded. I have all my parents letters to each other dating back to the late 1950's when they first met, and previously the letters my mother received to the American Air force officer she was engaged to for several years. I've read a couple - as has my sister - but they were too difficult to persue - her mental decline over the last 20 years of her life made them too painful for us to read - and this person was essentially a stranger. Even seeing how good her handwriting used to be is upsetting. I still have them and they are well looked after - but perhaps someone else should read them. I never will.Grey Areahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18240869670530738753noreply@blogger.com