tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post501412293276744930..comments2024-03-13T07:34:24.149+00:00Comments on The Age of Uncertainty: SedimentarySteerforthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-60866336860615095072012-11-12T13:48:46.431+00:002012-11-12T13:48:46.431+00:00Hello there, I've been a long-time reader of y...Hello there, I've been a long-time reader of yours and find myself regularly sharing your posts with others. Just wanted to say thank you for what you do.<br /><br />I've been producing a yearly "mixbook" for the past four years and included this post in this year's volume. See explanation here: http://www.newfangled.com/a_year_of_ideas_volume_4<br /><br />I would love to send you a copy. If you'd like that, please email me at chris@newfangled.com.<br /><br />Thanks again, and keep this up.<br /><br />- Chris ButlerChristopher Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16590598110095072676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-29409377658465967972012-06-10T21:01:20.374+00:002012-06-10T21:01:20.374+00:00Steerforth, this made me tear up as well. I look f...Steerforth, this made me tear up as well. I look forward to your doggy adventures.<br /><br />(@Rog - har!)Biscuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09943228742048113256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-83123111726098459022012-06-08T18:46:43.986+00:002012-06-08T18:46:43.986+00:00zmkc - Forgive this late response, but I've be...zmkc - Forgive this late response, but I've been away for a week.<br /><br />I quite agree with you. A nice bottle of something acts as a decompression chamber between the chaos of the day and the brief respite of the evening. Our bottle recycling bag bulges a little more than most of our neighbours' ones, but it keeps us sane.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-547815961278451542012-06-02T08:47:25.827+00:002012-06-02T08:47:25.827+00:00Huge sympathy - your own child's unhappiness c...Huge sympathy - your own child's unhappiness causes a kind of pain that you only understand too late, when you're already a parent. I suppose it has to be that way. We have to approach parenthood with serene innocence. If it ever occurred to us that it might be our child's fate to be unhappy, it would be awful.I bet you both did everything right, but your boy has his own quirks, which he will work out in his own time - and I bet too that your help will make it easier. I hope you and your wife manage to relax and forget things at home a bit occasionally - I recommend strong drink. It's a great solace ('in moderation' as the government would no doubt insist I say)zmkchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08972549292961948240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-7419149037427023362012-05-31T20:17:06.772+00:002012-05-31T20:17:06.772+00:00It's really quite similar to a border collie
...It's really quite similar to a border collie<br /><br /> *gets coat*Roghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09430706557035189147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-24207807725615946272012-05-31T19:53:18.546+00:002012-05-31T19:53:18.546+00:00Thank you Suki - much appreciated.
Rog - What'...Thank you Suki - much appreciated.<br /><br />Rog - What's an Ottakers Collie? If it's like the book chain I worked for, it will be something that is occasionally maddening, but very loveable and, just as you've made a long-tem committment, turns into something very unpleasant (i.e. Waterstone's under HMV). <br /><br />My son wants a Collie and I suspect that that's what we'll end up with. I shall have to start practicing my <i>"He'boy cumheelnu"</i> and strange whistling.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-72516370343554942182012-05-31T19:31:10.962+00:002012-05-31T19:31:10.962+00:00Our dog Lily gets us out of the house twice a day ...Our dog Lily gets us out of the house twice a day in all weathers. And she would happily join a more exciting family given the choice. But they are endearing little treasures and always give more than they get. <br />Have you thought of an Ottakers Collie?Roghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09430706557035189147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-61288936917761766512012-05-31T12:32:52.545+00:002012-05-31T12:32:52.545+00:00Sending you many good wishes as you continue to be...Sending you many good wishes as you continue to be with your son. So lovely the dog happened by. <br /><br />The cliffs are just gorgeous and your words too, pondering the puzzles of life.sukipoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351851210507048174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-13230994395073225112012-05-31T07:26:52.252+00:002012-05-31T07:26:52.252+00:00Laura - Yes, sadly many of the professionals have ...Laura - Yes, sadly many of the professionals have been very disappointing, from the strange woman with an absurdly low-cut top (my wife's verdict, not mine) who accused us of trying to 'medicalise' our son, to the people who only looked for autism. Thankfully we have some good people on our side now.<br /><br />But dogs aren't all about unconditional love. When my dad tried to teach our dog to swim in the sea, she paddled back to the shore and joined another family, sitting with her back turned to us! <br /><br />Carol - My blood pressure might go up at first if we have a puppy that chews our new dining chairs, but yes, in the long run we'll all be better off.<br /><br />Katie - I think you're right. I can only assume that his illness would be far worse if he hadn't felt confident about his parents' support. The hard bit is knowing when to do the 'tough love' bit, coercing my son into re-engaging with the outside world rather than remain in the safe world of online gaming.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-39372511493722283802012-05-30T23:49:28.431+00:002012-05-30T23:49:28.431+00:00You know, I'm sure all the things you did with...You know, I'm sure all the things you did with your older kid DID have an impact. Like you say at the beginning of this post, you can't always SEE the impact. He would feel it if you hadn't. And I'm sure he really knows you're there for him now. <br /><br />I've been very involved in recent years with a small boy with an ASD diagnosis - which of course includes OCD - so I know how it can take over and you have to become attuned to tiny details you might never have noticed before. And the awful anxieties you can't assuage. But he knows how loved he is and that's the bedrock.Ms Bhttp://baroqueinhackney.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-32672774649659478472012-05-30T23:44:23.599+00:002012-05-30T23:44:23.599+00:00You're so right about dogs making the world se...You're so right about dogs making the world seem a warmer and kinder place. No matter how bad the day, or how horrific the news, the fact that my dog can't wait to see me and bounds out wagging his tail and with a goofy expression on his face, instantly makes the world a better place. SoI think it probably is true, what they say about dogs lowering your blood pressure. Just stroking those silky ears has a soporific effect.<br />Hugs, CarolCanadian Chickadeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995693884248628958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-72103720783272028842012-05-30T22:47:58.056+00:002012-05-30T22:47:58.056+00:00Well it's less inconvenient/expensive than dol...Well it's less inconvenient/expensive than dolphin therapy! Or even professional therapy with adults who often have less clue of what to do/try than yourselves!<br /><br />Am delighted to hear your eldest has been bewitched by a collie when all else failed.<br /><br />You can't argue with a collie. They have needs and there's no question of saying no to them or that you don't feel like going for a walk that day. They are pure love and life on legs, no complications.The Poet Laura-eatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07779308486569849157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-67522518141753646162012-05-30T19:28:01.176+00:002012-05-30T19:28:01.176+00:00Anna C - Your comment must have appeared while I w...Anna C - Your comment must have appeared while I was writing the above. With luck, it will be further than the Seven Sisters - we have a holiday in Spain coming up, booked before my son decided to stop going out. I tried to cancel it, but Easy Jet tickets are non-refundable and several people said that it would be foolish to do this, as it would put a huge burden on our son (as well as spoiling things for the rest of us).<br /><br />We're going for the 'Mr T' approach - knocking our son out with antihistamines before the flight.<br /><br />I didn't mention this, as I didn't want to tempt fate. We may only get as far as the airport.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-10985637207331767232012-05-30T12:02:25.434+00:002012-05-30T12:02:25.434+00:00Thanks Chris - I hope you're right.
Annie - I...Thanks Chris - I hope you're right.<br /><br />Annie - I've just looked at the website and it looks really good, so thanks for posting the link. Reading about other people's experiences will help, I'm sure, as I feel pretty isolated at the moment.<br /><br />David - I know several people with autistic children and they're having a much worse time than me, which is why it took me a while to recognise what was happening on my own doorstep. And you're right, when we do get a break, we've forgotten how to enjoy it!<br /><br />PearlFog - Thanks<br /><br />Desperate Reader - I think that's the magic of dogs in a nutshell.<br /><br />Carol - Thanks. I expect we'll be getting a puppy soon, so that should make a big difference.<br /><br />Lucy - I'm secretly hoping that puberty may be my son's saving grace, giving him the energy and confidence he currently lacks. But I'm aware of other possible outcomes, so my fingers are very firmly crossed.<br /><br />Donna - Thank you. I felt quite self-conscious writing what felt like a rather self-indulget post, so I appreciate your comment.<br /><br />Tim - Thanks. I'll have to read that book 'Dogs Never Lie About Love' by Jeffrey Masson.<br /><br />Martin - Wise words. I get the same impression when I read your writing about your grandchildren. Nobody lies on their deathbed wishing they'd been less loving (except, perhaps, Zsa Zsa Gabor).<br /><br />Nilly - Ideally, creativity is the reward for being a sensitive soul. I hope that my son's experiences will make rather than break him, turning him into a wiser, more compassionate adult. Judging by his views on moral issues, there is hope.<br /><br />Mike - Thanks, and literary criticism from an ex-Picador man is always welcome!<br /><br />Camilla - I'm sure that you are his 'beautiful princess' - even on days when you might feel like Cinderella. <br /><br />As for children, like dogs they can seem noisy and smelly when they're other people's, but when you spend time in their company, they make the world seem a kinder place.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-559526433833866842012-05-30T11:55:13.011+00:002012-05-30T11:55:13.011+00:00Steerforth - this almost brought me to tears. A do...Steerforth - this almost brought me to tears. A dog today - who knows; the Seven Sisters tomorrow... AnnaCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-51684746706595457152012-05-30T09:38:58.008+00:002012-05-30T09:38:58.008+00:00I am full of hope for your son that his doggy comp...I am full of hope for your son that his doggy companion will help to expand his world. Animals can be extraordinary facilitators of transformation in that way. <br /><br /><i>My son seemed disappointingly indifferent to the wonders of marine life, but later told someone that he was so happy he wanted to cry. Children are strange creatures.</i><br /><br />They are indeed. Strange and glorious. Mine told his father the other day that he thought I was a 'beautiful princess', which is an image so at odds with reality (I am more of a scruffy Hobbit-type) that I can't get my head around it. But it made my heart melt all the same.<br /><br />All the best to you and your sons.<br /><br />CamillaCamillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11672776221279283290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-7542360155391575372012-05-30T09:27:31.701+00:002012-05-30T09:27:31.701+00:00Aware that literary criticism isn't necessaril...Aware that literary criticism isn't necessarily what you need right now, but these are beautiful words (and pictures). Good luck with it all - and with the smell of dog. Our house and car, both bought in the last 6 months, smell of dog (particularly when it rains) - we scrub away like Lady Macbeth, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.MikePhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08589363260977274335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-71689614635043021382012-05-30T07:52:38.989+00:002012-05-30T07:52:38.989+00:00Your openness & natural empathy for your sons ...Your openness & natural empathy for your sons moves me greatly. I'm further on in family life than you are & I too have experienced great pain & difficulty with my children's problems, but I treasure & value every positive moment I've had & still have with them & this keeps me going. I wonder if personality problems etc. are the price we pay for human creativity & imagination?nillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09733433402466612700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-74762252603639589882012-05-30T06:14:58.577+00:002012-05-30T06:14:58.577+00:00The love you have for your boys, comes shining thr...The love you have for your boys, comes shining through, Steerforth. It won't have been wasted on them, either. More important than those invisible, forgotten events, love itself creates a pretty solid foundation. Good luck with the dog!Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13494219959077922220noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-30246346800066405102012-05-30T02:28:26.507+00:002012-05-30T02:28:26.507+00:00Dogs do have a way of transcending barriers that m...Dogs do have a way of transcending barriers that mere humans find impossible. Hope things work out.Tim Fhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14681067872556519250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-14756293069998775832012-05-30T02:12:50.077+00:002012-05-30T02:12:50.077+00:00Beautiful...everything I've come to expect fro...Beautiful...everything I've come to expect from your writing, and your musings.<br /><br />DonnaDonna McKinnonhttp://www.32pages.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-13868420829198835742012-05-29T21:56:35.309+00:002012-05-29T21:56:35.309+00:00Dogs and horses seem to have a very calming effect...Dogs and horses seem to have a very calming effect on so many children and adults. <br /><br />I'm loathe to leave a comment along the lines of 'everything will be fine'. I can't pretend to know what it's like to live with someone who has OCD, I have only worked with children who have the disorder.<br /><br />What I will say, is that I noticed a trend; problems tended to peak between the ages of 14 and 16, before slowly and surely settling soon after. Maybe hormones and energy levels stabilize.<br /><br />The world is a scary place, and we all seek order and routine to help us stay calm. Spontaneity isn't something you think too much about until you can't enjoy it. However, you and your wife are, I assume, able to take pleasure from very (seemingly) small and insignificant steps towards progress - something so few people are able to do because they want so much.<br /><br />I think of all the worry my brother caused my parents while I 'got on with life' from childhood to early teens, then we reversed roles. I became a big worry for my parents whilst my brother got a job and car (something they never envisaged).<br /><br />Life is anything but predictable.lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-1485629292116542522012-05-29T21:48:23.926+00:002012-05-29T21:48:23.926+00:00So glad the dog is helping. Sometimes life can be...So glad the dog is helping. Sometimes life can be so hard. I'm sorry. I hope with the collie's help, things improve.<br /><br />Take care and God bless you all, xoxox<br />CarolCanadian Chickadeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995693884248628958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-11087622093552615322012-05-29T21:48:23.409+00:002012-05-29T21:48:23.409+00:00So glad the dog is helping. Sometimes life can be...So glad the dog is helping. Sometimes life can be so hard. I'm sorry. I hope with the collie's help, things improve.<br /><br />Take care and God bless you all, xoxox<br />CarolCanadian Chickadeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995693884248628958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32570460.post-11325928152767705272012-05-29T21:46:12.353+00:002012-05-29T21:46:12.353+00:00Good luck with it all, Dogs are a perfect mix of d...Good luck with it all, Dogs are a perfect mix of dependable and dependant which can be quite beguiling.Desperate Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15708411387912078122noreply@blogger.com