Monday, April 06, 2009

This is what I thought the future was going to be like...


Obviously I'm relieved that we're not at war with aliens, but it's a huge disappointment that there still isn't a base on the moon. It will be the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11 on July 20th.

Even more remarkably, it is now 36 years since the last manned space mission beyond low earth orbit. Instead of boldly going, we stayed at home.

I can go without the helicars, videophones and pills instead of meals. I can even go without the women in skin-tight catsuits. However, I am very disappointed that the Space Age never really took off. The way things are going, I'll be dead before anyone lands on Mars.

Apparently we have the technology to send people to Mars, but it's doubtful whether we could bring them back alive. Stalin wouldn't have worried about that and neither should we. Why not send a mission of very old people?

Think of the benefits. A low gravity environment would provide instant relief from arthritis and rheumatism. Also, if you felt that your life had largely been an unremarkable one, here would be an opportunity to achieve last-minute fame.

This wouldn't be a suicide mission as such. The aim would always be the safe return of the geriatric astronauts, but if this high-risk mission did fail there wouldn't be the same devastating shock to morale. We could say that they'd had a good innings.

I shall be submitting this idea to NASA shortly. Remember, you heard it here first.

8 comments:

depesando said...

I loved UFO, I was convinced that when I grew up I would be Micheal Billington....what a huge disappointment life has been, and I still remember the excitement of the first episode of Space 1999...I can still remember working out that it was only 23 years away...

Steerforth said...

Definitely the best tv theme of all time.

The costumes were also great, from Ed Straker's pale Nehru suits to the absurd fishnet tops of the submarine crew.

The first episode of Space 1999 was a less euphoric moment because the tossers at ITV scheduled it to clash with Doctor Who. I used to watch Who, then catch the last 20 minutes of 1999.

I watched Space 1999 recently and had forgotten how utterly depressing it was. Great theme tune though - Barry Gray and wah-wah guitars. What more could anyone want?

bye bye bellulah said...

At 11 I was so enamoured with the woman with lentils for eyebrows that I cut my big Euro Afro off to try to be a character in the show.

Recently someone leant me a copy of Old Man's War by John Scalzi. At 60 people can elect to join the space army and fight to protect the galaxy, or stay at home and live out their alloted span.

If they go they can never return, but once their duration is over they are promised a homestead in some other place to retire to.

Not my usual cup of tea, Dr Who, 1999 and modern BattleStar Galactica notwithstanding, but I really enjoyed it.

I'm in denial.

Scriptor Senex said...

Can I take my embroidery with me?

Steerforth said...

Of course, and the crew will be provided with a hard drive containing EVERY episode of Midsomer Murders and Last of the Summer Wine.

Catherine Nelson-Pollard said...

They got one bit right. "All mobiles operational" except I surmise they meant mobile vehicles not mobile phones to Twitter away on.

Everybody in the future would have to be under a certain age to don those tight cat suits and get away with it. That purple hair however is bizarrely rather attractive, hmm.. I wonder if our local pharmacie sells it. Should raise a few Swiss eyebrows.

Catherine Nelson-Pollard said...

They got one bit right. "All mobiles operational" except I surmise they meant mobile vehicles not mobile phones to Twitter away on.

Everybody in the future would have to be under a certain age to don those tight cat suits and get away with it. That purple hair however is bizarrely rather attractive, hmm.. I wonder if our local pharmacie sells it. Should raise a few Swiss eyebrows.

JRSM said...

My wild prediction: the government of China has the money, the technology, the desire for prestige and the lack of concern for human life that might just see them send a manned mission to Mars in your/our lifetime.